


Jake and Feng try to rob someone

by CalmSpirited



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Feng is a thug but so is Amanda, This is just crack, Who is the ultimate thug?, but ive been planning this for a while so, is this shipping? well theyre shipping out to gay baby jail afterwards so, listen i love this video so much is a huge goal in life, literally this is not serious at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 03:09:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15379383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalmSpirited/pseuds/CalmSpirited
Summary: Yep. Literally based off of this \/ video with plothttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqpFCOVOoTc&t=97s





	Jake and Feng try to rob someone

**Author's Note:**

> ayyy lmao i love you all

“You know what we could use around here?”

“What?” Just eight words already had the survivalist on edge, and he responded with extreme caution. “Don’t make a Dwight dick joke-”

“No- I wasn’t going to, but now you brought this upon yourself-”

“Feng, just tell me what you want.” _Not five seconds into this conversation and Jake’s already done._

“First off, don’t take that pissy attitude with me.” The small woman gives him a sharp and manicured finger-pointing, inches away from his nose. “Second- it’s dark here; we need god lighting.”

“You do realize _we’re out in the fucking woods, please._ ”

“Shut up, hobo! I meant, it’s so dark out I have to keep my phone on the brightest setting, which drains the battery, so I’m lucky to get through couple of Fornite games before I have to go find my charger to plug into the Campfire-”

“ _What kind of charger can **you plug into the Campfire? __**_ _”_

__“I don’t know, it must be spider power! Anyways- Quit interrupting!” She knows Jake is inquisitive, _like a fucking child_ , but she does appreciate that quality about him, the urge to get to know about everything around him. It’s what got her into IT stuff. “I need more light around here so I can stop draining my battery, and I just had _wonderful_ idea of where we could get some.”_ _

__She has this little smile on her face, one he’s seen before right before she stabs whatever demented Killer she’s being carried by in a Decisive Strike _(hah)_ , and his already on-edge demeanor heightened further, knowing she’s about to try to rope him into something he’s probably going to regret later._ _

__If he was really not interested, he would’ve simply shrugged her off and walked away. But he’s bored, and, quite frankly, _itching_ for action. He’s like a cooped up cat, ready to break everything if someone doesn’t let him out every once in a while._ _

__He acts as nonchalant and disinterested as he could muster, and hope he’s convincing enough._ _

__“I’m saying this right now: _I am not going to Lery’s_.”_ _

__“I thought that at first.” She plops down on the log next to him, kicking her little feet up into the air to cross one leg over the other, and lean directly into his chest, looking up at his face with her usual bangs covering her face, pulled back into a loose bun._ _

__Her breath smells faintly of Bill’s cigarettes, and his nose scrunches up at the displeasing odor. “It’s basically Electric Boogaloo Central. But we both know that since Doctor is pain in the ass, that’s not good route to choose.”_ _

__“Okay?” _Now he’s really starting to doubt Feng’s intentions_._ _

__“Let’s just say… you’re not the only one who likes to take long hikes in the woods. This is only time imma say it, but you have bigger dick than I thought you would.” She _fucking winked at him_ , and with his eyes widening much more than what is considered healthy, he sat up, purposefully knocking her off his solitary person._ _

__“You fucking horny thot, Nea swore she saw somebody!”_ _

__“Yeah, and that didn’t stop her, did it?”_ _

___Well fuck-a-doodle-doo, damn her._ _ _

__“...you- just hurry up and tell me your _oh so grand plan_ , because if your not I would like to try and sleep.” _A big fat lie, but he is getting impatient.__ _

__“I want to go to the Killer’s Shack.”_ _

___There?_ His response to her is a bit delayed in confusion. “But there’s one on nearly every map, and I’ve never seen an outlet anywhere.”_ _

__“No, all-star, the main Killer Shack. Where they all have their jerk- offs and blood orgies. I know where it is, and I know they have power there.”_ _

__“Oh, _you do_ , do you? Which Killer did you fuck to find out, hmmm?”_ _

__“Probably same ones you have.” A little smirk and head tilt, Feng keeps a close eye on his darker face, and watches as his mouth parts slightly, sputtering for a moment while the height of his cheeks redden with a soft hued blush. But just like always, he quickly recovers and quips back._ _

__“How does my seconds taste?” With his own smirk to boot, but she’s not going to let that slide. She wouldn’t be the _focused competitor_ that she was if she did._ _

__“You must not have left any, cuz I didn’t taste any. But before this turns into a Wendy’s Twitter Roast, I want to reveal my plan.”_ _

__And with that, she stands up and pulls out a gun from somewhere._ _

__The survivalist squeaks and scrambles backwards._ _

___He may have peed his pants just a little._ _ _

__“WHOMST’VE- _ **WHERE DID YOU GET THE GUN FENG?**_ ”_ _

__“Shhhhhh~” The technician pressed a slim finger to her lips, then moved to press it against Jake’s. She brandished the weapon boldly, not caring for where or who it was pointed at. “Bill. His gun came back one day, and I snatched it before he saw.” The memory of the incident brought a sly smile to her lips, eyes narrowing at her intended partner in crime as if coaxing him into accepting her answer._ _

__“And no, I have not shot anybody yet, but _I will if I must_.”_ _

__“Shhhh- Feng, put the gun down! Before you accidentally fire it!” Jake, recovering from his shell shock of Feng _actually having a deadly weapon_ , shoots _(ha!)_ his hand up, aiming to disarm her by snatching the gun away. And, of course, she resists with a surprised gasp, gripping the metallic weapon tighter with both of her hands when her arm was yanked down, refusing to let go just as much as Jake was determined to take it from her-_ _

___BANG!_ _ _

__“JESUS H. CHRIST!” Honestly? He thought it was a dud._ _

___SLAP!_ _ _

__“你这个傻白痴！” _Was he crazy!?_ Trying to grab a loaded gun from her hand? The slap she delivered was well deserved, and she relished the soft grunt of pain she caused him, cradling his own cheek with wide eyes staring up at her. _Serves him right!__ _

__“Why do you have it loaded!?”_ _

__“Ask Bill; it’s his gun! Stop yelling before I pistol- whip you!” That got him to stop. For a few seconds, at least, stopping his rubbing of his face to form both of his hands into fists and thump them against his thighs, one corner of his lips suddenly pursuing in deep thought._ _

__“...Wait. Don’t tell me-”_ _

__“You still have brain cells after smoking so much dank weed? Must not be that dank.” Standing up and brushing herself off, she blows invisible smoke off the literal gun and holsters in somewhere in the back of her clothes, out of Jake’s sight._ _

__“ _This_ -” Patting where the weapon had vanished to “-is ticket to what we want.”_ _

__If Jake had been concerned before, he was perturbed now._ _

__“Feng, I don’t think someone like the Trapper is going to be intimidated by a handgun.”_ _

__“He will if we mean business and know where to shoot.”_ _

__“What, are you going to headshot him?”_ _

__“No, I’m going to shoot him in the balls.”_ _

__“...But what if he doesn’t have any?”_ _

__“...shit- He walk like he got gorilla balls, tho.”_ _

__“True, but _what if he doesn’t_.”_ _

__“ _Then_ , I will headshot him.”_ _

__“It’ll be a little too late then, Feng.”_ _

__“You haven’t said _no_ yet.” Damn her._ _

__“...I’ll go, but I get a say in how we do this.”_ _

__“I’m keeping the gun.”_ _

__

___________________ _

__

__This was _stupid. Horrendously stupid_ , but by God, Jake was _committed_._ _

__They had both continued to discuss their little heist at length, formulating what _exactly_ they wanted, and solidifying how they were going to go about it, leaving the others in the dark about what their intentions were. They _definitely_ didn’t tell Bill that his gun was back, locked and loaded and ready to see action, no sirree._ _

__It took several cycles of Trials for them to actually agree upon _who_ was to carry the gun _(Feng, with Jake with his whittling knife as backup)_ , and what they were aiming to steal _(any kind of light fixtures)_._ _

__It was still stupid, but now he knows the excitement that cat burglars feel when they go for their first robbery._ _

__Feng walks at his side, tugging her shirt down as it rides up the small of her back as she creeps towards the Killer Shack, the gun peekaboo’ing itself every few feet that she walked and would clearly indicate that the Chinese woman was loaded for bear._ _

__He pokes her in the soft flesh of her arm, eyes pointedly darting down to where the gun was concealed. “I told you to wear a longer shirt!” Voice hissing, not with venom, but with perturbation for her lack of discrentiency, and his eyes show his disapproval with how she was treating this adventure. As if it was a boss fight with unlimited respawns, _which was not the case here.__ _

__“Relax, I know what I’m doing.” The gamer girl shrugs off Jakes concern, but resecures the gun in her waistband with a resolute tug of her polo. Any retort the saboteur was about to utter was cut off as Feng held her finger up to her lips in a typical ‘ _shhh_ h’ fashion, and waved him over to a small overgrowth of shrubbery, the last of which before the Killer Shack. “Now, listen, bird boy.”_ _

__“Since it usually Trapper there, I’m going to be the one knocking, and you will stand behind me, and stay out of the way!”_ _

__“And if the Trapper doesn’t appreciate our visit?” Feng rolled her eyes at Jake’s overabundance of caution, but she would be a fool to say that his concern wasn’t unfounded. “That is what gun is for, 杞人忧天.”_ _

__The lithe woman makes a move first, crouching low enough so that her head was below window height and undetectable to any Killer that just happened to take a glance outside in their direction. The survivalist follows in her footsteps, crouching just a little bit lower than her to hide any of his wild hair that might stick up and get him noticed _(wouldn’t be the first time)_ , while they both approached the front door._ _

__It wasn’t much of a shack; more like a quaint little house. _Why do they get better quarters than us_?_ _

__“Stay crouched unless I give signal.” Jake feels a light pat on the crown of his head, a final reminder for him to _stay out of sight_ , and watches with baited breath as Feng knocks at the wooden door, seeing her hands immediately clasping behind her, just above the handle of the gun sticking out._ _

__She gives the door three short raps before she takes a single step back, as if she was a dignitary awaiting an official response to rush back, and it’s not long before the sound of rustling and grumbling could be heard faintly through the walls, the doorknob rattling with a powerful grip on the other side._ _

__It was swung open with enough force to blow Jake’s hair out of his face, and the force that it was shut with nearly sucked his scarf straight off his neck. For the brief moment that the door was open, Jake could see the burly outline of the Trapper, dressed in some of the newer garbs and… actually slightly- less intimidating looking. Still _unnerving_ , though._ _

__Feng Min huffed, anger and indiginance rising within her chest as the door was slammed back shut in her face without so much as a word or grunt in acknowledgement, and she raises her fist to pound on the door again, when a sliding noise stopped her and caught her attention, looking upwards and seeing that there had been a panel in the door that slid back to reveal one of the many twisted grins of the first Killer himself._ _

__An equally gruff voice came from the equally gruff monster. “How did you get here?”_ _

__“It’s not _that_ hard to find.” Gracing the monstrous Killer with an eye roll, Feng straightened her spine as much as she could while tilting her head up and back to see more through the little slot, nearly raising up on her tiptoes to get a better view. “Let me in.”_ _

__A rumble was heard from within that sounded suspiciously like a sigh or a chuckle. “Why?”_ _

__The elite gamer huffed. “Bro, just let me in.”_ _

__“ _W h y?_ ”_ _

__“Because I want to come in and, I don’t know… do you want your dick sucked?”_ _

__“... No.”_ _

__“You hesitated-”_ _

__“I’m not letting you in without a valid reason, so you-”_ _

__“ _Pwease_.”_ _

__Now he was just very agitated. _Why he can’t just get some peace and quiet_? “You’re safer not being in here.”_ _

__Seeing through the slits of his mask and the slot, he can clearly tell that whatever reason the girl is here for, it’s prudent enough that she doesn’t move an inch when he presses the front of his mask against the door and growls at her in warning. “Listen-”_ _

__Faster than he can blink, the girl had reached for something behind her, pulling out something dark and pointing it dead straight at his face._ _

__It took him a moment to realize that it was a _gun_ , and that he was staring down the barrel of said gun._ _

__“God’s teeth!” He exclaimed, taking a colossus step backwards out of immediate concern for his own safety. He did not know if the Entity was knowledgeable enough to know to have a loaded gun, but he wasn’t willing to find out. “What the fuck do you-”_ _

__

__“Let me in the Goddamn door! Let me in!” The gun now firmly wedged into the slot, Feng Min now felt that she had the leverage, the point of power now in her hands. She had forgotten all about Jake until a tap on her legs drew her eyes for a moment, the shaggy survivalist mouthing something about _‘be careful’_. Right, like he lived in a bubble._ _

__“What’s going on?” A newer, softer voice was heard from behind the door, a voice that both Survivors recognized as Amanda, better known as Miss Piggy, and judging by the sleepy tone, their yelling and commotion had woken her up from a little piglet nap._ _

__And she did not sound too pleased, by their actions and by the sight of the gun barrel pointing through the door slot. “Whose gun is that?”_ _

__“It’s mine, bitches! Now let me in!”_ _

__The Trapper made a heavy grunt then, reaching for the doorknob to yank open the door, irritation reaching a boiling point regardless of whether or not there was a gun pointed in his general direction, and Feng recoiled just the slightest when she heard and felt the doorknob rattle._ _

__She cocked the gun then, and the movement stopped._ _

__“What do you want?” It was Amanda this time still, and she sounded considerably more awake now._ _

__She decided that now would be a good idea to actually speak her plan. “I want some fucking lamps! You know how dark is back there?!”_ _

__“... Do you know you have no way to plug it in?”_ _

__“Shit don’t even work half the time, now let me the fuck in, or imma start shooting!”_ _

__Things fell silent on the other end for a pregnant pause, before the snout of the Pig’s mask poked at the slot, pushing the Trapper out of the way to handle the situation. “Leave the gun outside and you can come in. _Slowly_.”_ _

__“I’m not leaving the gun; what if you fuck me up inside?”_ _

__“ **...Make your choice...** ” _And there she is with that melodramatic dialogue again_._ _

__“Alright, alright.” Feng relaxed back onto her heels, toes cramping up from being on them for so long, but she kept the gun in view. “How bout I put gun away and then I come inside? C’mon, I can’t single handedly hurt you guys!”_ _

___Another short pause and more shuffling_. “Show me.”_ _

__“Hmmph.” She held the gun up with one hand while she used the other hand to hike up the back of her shirt so she could put the gun back where it had been before, turning around so that she could show The Pig that it was now put away. “You see? It’s gone. Now let us in.” Jake, patiently and silently crouching all this time, now started to stand up and slink to move behind Feng, still bending low to remain out of view._ _

__The snout nodded. “No sudden movem- Wait, _‘us’_?”_ _

__As soon as The Pig had paused and parroted her, Feng knew that she had fucked up, and quickly realizing her mistake, tried to rectify the situation as quickly as she could to conceal Jake’s presence a little while longer. “Yeah, me and this gun!”_ _

__“I find that hard to believe.” Amanda could easily see that Feng was distressed by her question, and it further served her suspicion of the Chinese woman’s true intentions. “Who else is there?”_ _

__“No one!”_ _

__Amanda narrowed her eyes behind her perpetually rotting pig mask, tilting her head just enough to try and peek around Feng Min’s head, feeling the Trapper bend down as well and try to look around outside, his heavy breaths huffing against the runlets of blood on her pig’s face. She thought she saw a flash of _something_ to the side, but she wasn’t sure…_ _

__She had opened her mouth to demand an answer again, determined to get to the bottom of _whatever_ shenanigans was going on around here, when Trapper thought of to pull back the old white curtains covering the front window._ _

__“Jesus Christ- **PARK!** ”_ _

__And there was the fluffy outline of Jake Park, clearly visible and holding up his hunting knife like it was an ice cream cone._ _

__To Feng’s benefit, he didn’t say a word but simply moved away from his standing position in front of the window pane. _She didn’t even hear him stand up or take out his knife_._ _

__“What are you talking about, you crazy Killers? Jake isn’t here.”_ _

__“I just saw him! He’s standing there holding a bloody knife!”_ _

__“No, he’s not! You delusional!”_ _

__“Min-” Amanda leaned her head as far right as she could, and just barely, she could see a sliver of the man in question. “-he’s right there.”_ _

___Thump_! “No he’s not you’re fucking lying.” The Pig jumped back slightly when the pale face of the gamer thumped against the door, blocking the slot from anyone inside looking out._ _

__The harsh and grating voice of The Trapper boomed through the small house. “I can still see him, the little fucker-”_ _

__“JUST LET US IN!” The man who had been oh-so silent the whole time had finally spoken up now, rushing up behind Feng and demanding entry, brandishing the knife wildly now with clear agitation._ _

__“We’re definitely not letting in you in with that knife!”_ _

__“Jake, calm DOWN-”_ _

__“Feng, I know what I’m doing- I’ll fuck you up, I’ll fuck you up!”_ _

__“Jesus, fuck, Jake!”_ _

__A gleam of light poked through the slot, which quickly turned out to be the knife of the saboteur, waving back and forth along with Jake’s unintelligible yelling along the lines of demanding for entry._ _

__“Listen.” _Now Amanda was just tired of all this shit_. “If both of you drop your weapons, I’ll let you in.”_ _

__Her proposition was met with silence, until a clatter of metal was heard outside, and the survivalist spoke up. “Okay, I dropped the knife.”_ _

__“Yeah, Jake dropped the knife, I put away the gun, so let us in.”_ _

__“Alright. Come in, _slowly_.” Reaching to the doorknob to turn it, she heard the burly Killer whisper harshly to her, hand on top of hers on the knob. “ _Are you really letting them in_?”_ _

__“ _Yes! They won’t leave unless we do_!” She wasn’t one to put up with any shit, but she knew the likes of Feng Min won’t leave unless she got what she wants or she’s dead. The latter of which will just encourage her to come back and try again. Poor decision making, but she can’t blame the girl for being resilient._ _

__She brushed off the scarred hand and twisted the doorknob, using her other hand to unlatch the bolt lock just above the doorknob._ _

__As the door slid back, she raises her head from unlocking the door, she was met face-to-face with the barrel of the gun again._ _

__“What’s up motherfuckers, I fucking lied, I didn’t drop the fucking gun!” _Why is that not a surprise_? In her peripheral vision, she saw Trapper going for his cleaver, and she shot her arm out to grip the fabric of his clothing, shaking her head _‘no’_. She wasn’t taking any chances until she knew whether or not the gun was loaded, even though she knew the Entity had granted her supernatural powers, she didn’t know if a gunshot to the head would kill her._ _

__Feng may have had the gun, but Jake was a good half foot taller than her and eclipsed her as the main sight to behold, especially with the way he was holding the knife like a water bottle he was about to drink from. “We want your lights.”_ _

__“But you don’t have any way-”_ _

__“I do not give a shit! WE WANT YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS! And we’re taking them! Jake, go get that lamp over there!”_ _

__“Which lamp?”_ _

__“That one!”_ _

__“There’s, like, five lamps in here! Which one?”_ _

__“Just- just start with table lamps. Be quick!”_ _

__Moving quickly, Jake steps out from behind her without a word, still holding the knife straight up, heading towards the twin tables about fifteen feet apart with identical lamps on them, and kneeling down in front of the electrical outlet that the lamps were plugged into, turning his head back every few seconds to make sure no one was trying to get the drop on him._ _

__While the survivalist was fumbling with the plugs, Feng kept pressure on the Killers, the larger of which had moved to put the arm of the sofa between him and the gun. “Don’t move. Don’t move, fuckos.” She warned waving the gun back and forth between the two Killers._ _

___This is ridiculous_. Amanda sighed and slowly reached up, thumbs sliding inbetween the flaps of her pig’s mask and the skin on her neck, pushing upwards to remove the mask, which was getting to be a bit stuffy, revealing her actually quite clean face, considering that she had just came back from murdering people. “You’re actually just stupid.” _She just wanted her evening off to relax, but no, she has to deal with these ungrateful swine breaking and entering, like that fucking_ -_ _

__“Jake, what’s taking so fucking long!?”_ _

__“These lamps are impossible to unplug!”_ _

__“Pull harder, you thot!”_ _

__“I am!” _Jake is stronger than he looks_. “They’re, like, corroded into the socket!”_ _

__“Just pull it out, you fucking retar-”_ _

__“They’re fucking impossible to get out!”_ _

__“JUST UNPLUG THEM, 婊子！”_ _

__“I’M FUCKING TRYING, BITCH!”_ _

__“Are we really get robbed by bloody Survivors?”_ _

__“I don’t want to hear you bitchin’, Evan!” Pointing the gun directly at the Trapper now, the gamer’s patience for everything was quickly evaporating. “Just sit down on the fucking sofa and let us take yo shit!”_ _

__A soft rumble echoed throughout the room. “Fine.” Taking one broad step, he moved in front of the farthest seat onto the sofa, grunting as he took the weight off his bad knee and flopped back onto the furniture. _At least if she shot him now, he was comfortable_. He was drawn out of his thoughts of dying and being dead when the room got considerably darker._ _

__“I got one!” Jake held the extracted cord up in the air victoriously._ _

__“Good, now get the other one!” _Finally, he’s getting shit done_. And a few moments later, both of the lamps went dark, cast half the room in the night. _ _

__“Did you just pull the socket out the wall, Park?”_ _

__“...Maybe.”_ _

__“Okay, whatever, let’s go!”_ _

__“Hold on!” He then began the difficult chore of hoisting the two table lamps up under his arms with their awkward and bulky shape, nearly falling over with the weight of the objects. “Let’s get the skinny penis lamp!”_ _

__“Oh, good idea- wait, is this an Xbox One?”_ _

__“Feng Min, do not take that-”_ _

__“FUCK YOU, I WANT AN XBOX!” Why did the Killers get an Xbox when she didn’t? She felt personally offended, and the Asian woman reached over to start disconnecting the wires that connected the console to the _flat screen TV_ -_ _

__The technician had gotten almost all the wires disconnected when she heard the soft steps of the Pig creep up behind her, and turned around to see her not five feet away from her body. “Hey back off- Jake, pull the gun, pull the gun.”_ _

__“Uhhh, that’s not my job, Feng. You made that very clear.” _Shit he right, then where_ -_ _

___Click!_ _ _

__She turned back from Jake to see that Amanda now had the gun, re-cocked it, and was pointing it in her face with a malicious smirk on her face. “Oh, fuck-”_ _

__The distress on the gamer’s face just made Amanda happier. “Yeah, now you’re not so gung- ho are you?”_ _

__“Feng, I can’t believe you put the gun down.”_ _

__“The tables have turned now, fuckers.” The Pigless Pig interrupted the two squabbling partners in crime, ushering Chinese woman back towards the door with the gun. “New plan: you both leave right now and I won’t shoot you both and then let the Hag eat you when she gets back. And put all of our shit back.”_ _

__“Please, bitch, quit acting like a thug and give me gun back before you hurt yourself-”_ _

__Amanda then turned the gun sideways, and she heard Jake squeal softly to her left._ _

__“She’s holding it gangster style, she isn’t playing, Feng.”_ _

__“Fuck my life!”_ _

__“Park’s right, I turned it sideways, that means I’m serious!”_ _

__“You boosted fucking animal- alright, you got us.” Seeing as The Pig _did_ have the gun and that _she did fuck up (Although she would never admit it)_ , she turned back to Jake, shoulders slightly slumped and arms crossed in wake of her defeat. “Jake, put those things down.”_ _

__“It took me forever to get them unplugged.”_ _

__“Just put them back on the table. We’re leaving.” The saboteur looked incredibly miffed, but he obeyed and set both of the lamps back on the table, the shade swaying with the movement and one actually coming off and falling into the armchair next to it. He reached over to put it back in place when he spotted something shoved underneath one of the pillows. “Hey, who’s sunglasses are these?”_ _

__“Those are Phillip’s, now you two-”_ _

__“Can I have these glasses?”_ _

__The Pig slowly turned to face the woodsman._ _

__“No- actually, you know what, you can have them if you leave _right now_.”_ _

__“Okay.” He moved past the Pig, lightly brushing up against her due to the smallness of the room, almost knocking the gun out of her hands but apologizing as he went by._ _

__“Why do he get fucking glasses?!”_ _

__“Because at least Park has fucking manners. You’re just a salty bitch so you don’t get anything-”_ _

__“Oh no, I have something.” The smile that Feng had had when she first busted into their home returned, and it immediately wiped away any trace of happiness from Amanda’s face. “What do you have?”_ _

__“I have the clip to the gun.”_ _

__Amanda immediately turned the gun over to see that, yes, _the clip was gone_. She looked back up to stare Feng in the eyes, nobody moving for a few terse seconds. Amanda was shocked for a few moments, wondering if the gun ever had the clip in it to begin with, and feeling a bit stupid if that was the case. Her few moments off guard allowed Feng to snatch the gun back, and this time, everybody saw Feng load the gun, clicking the clip into place. _ _

__“Go sit on sofa by the old man, hot shit. Jake, go get the lamps, I’ll get the Xbox.”_ _

___________________ _

__In the end, they ended up getting away with the two table lamps, the skinny penis lamp, the Xbox and the controllers for it, the flat screen TV, Phillip’s glasses, and some weed Jake found. All in all, a pretty good haul in Feng’s mind, especially after they saw her load the clip and the Killers didn’t give them much more issue afterwards._ _

__They had taken off after Jake snatched up the weed, Feng carrying the Xbox and TV while Jake had the lamps hanging all over him, almost tripping over the cords on several occasions on their run back to the Campfire, but making it back successfully without dropping or breaking anything._ _

__“GGEZ nore.”_ _

__“Feng, you cut it really close there with the gun. Not to mention that we’re incredibly lucky that the other Killers showed up.”_ _

__“Those babies didn’t stand a chance.”_ _

__“What did even happen with the clip?”_ _

__“Oh, I didn’t put it in. On purpose.” She made sure to iterate that point._ _

__Jake didn’t believe her for a moment; he saw her face when The Pig snatched the gun, she was _shook_. “Right.” With a slight eye roll to boot, he starts rearranging the lamps around the Campfire, placing the brightest one right by Feng, as she requested._ _

__He even propped the TV up onto a log and some rocks and reconnected the Xbox, ready to play some Mario Kart with Feng, a little surprise they had discovered after they were safe and opened their loot to find the disc still in the slot. With the final wire attached, Jake stood back up to his full height and looked around, a hand rubbing at his chin in thought._ _

__“Do we… plug it into the fire or…?”_ _

__“Go for it.”_ _

__Picking up the plug, the survivalist approached the fire and… plugged in the cord._ _

__The TV and the Xbox sprung to life, the Mario Kart theme music blaring from the speakers._ _

__“Oh my God, I didn’t think that would work that’s actual bullshit.”_ _

__“The forest hobo does know about modern technology after all.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> if you read all the way down here I love u even more smooch


End file.
